2 Samuel 10:1-3 “Now it happened later that (Nahash) the king of the Ammonites dies, and his son Hanun became king in his place. Then David said, ‘I will show kindness to Hanun just as his father did to me.” So David sent (a letter along with) some of his servants to console him in regard to his father’s death;and David’s servants came into the the land of the Ammonites. But the princes of the Ammonites(were suspicious and) said to Hanun their Lord,”do you think that David is honoring your father because he has sent comforters to you? Has David not sent his servants to you in order to search the city, to spy it out and overthrow it?'” 2 Samuel 10:6 “When the Ammonites saw that they had become an object of hatred to David, they sent word and hired the Arameans (Syrians) of Beth-rehob and the Arameans of Zobah, 20,000 foot soldiers, and the king of Maccah with 1,000 men and the men of Tob with 12,000 men (to fight for them).”
As we go through Covid 19 many of us are grieving the loss of so much that was our everyday life prior to this virus. We are grieving visiting with family and friends, loss of income or jobs, the ability to go into stores with ease, going to activities such as church, sports events, gyms, and so many places. Oh, and let’s not forget hairdressers! ( I really miss my hairdresser) Just as with any loss our grieving level is different and how we react is different. Hunan was grieving the loss of his father, and was also learning to walk out his new reality of being king. Just like we are learning to live through our new realities of life with the presence of Covid-19 and our losses.
What can we learn form the above scripture as we go through any type of grief? When we are grieving, it is not the time to be making decisions of who are our friends and who are our enemies. When we are in this state of mind our ability to see the heart behind others actions is not clear. We are hurting, and the actions or words of others done out of compassion and kindness, we just see wrongly. Hunan did not see David’s action to help console him and show honor to his father rightly. Grief is difficult!! Thankfully we have the Holy Spirit to be our comforter. There will be many reason for us to grieve. Grieving is a process that all of us must go through in our life. Many of us will try to find distractions to avoid this process and not find healing and comfort. Oddly enough, it has been my experience that many people are much more comfortable with the feelings of anger and it’s actions, then they are with sadness, and it’s actions. Often, we will turn our grief into anger and focus on the actions of anger. Even our closest friends can out of lack, of knowledge of words to say or what action to take to help us grieve, can spur us to act with anger. Just like the princes of the Ammonites did. Recently I had a friend pass away from an accidental over dose, leaving her young daughter(in her 20’s) to deal with this grief. When Mother’s day came I tried to comfort her. Her Mom was someone who was always doing kind things for others. In the scripture Nahash was known by David for his kindness. I reminded my friend’s daughter of how her Mom was know for being kind, and encouraged her to do an act of kindness for someone around her. I spoke words, that I hope comforted her in her grieving, Words that honored her Mom’s character of being kind and spreading love. I could have tried to stir up anger in her, anger about how her Mom had obtained the drugs. But that would have not helped her to grieve. It would have distracted her from the grieving process. It would have stirred anger and not love. Part of grieving is reflecting on the people and things that we are grieving, and trying to find new ways that bring the goodness of them to remain in our life. Like we have seen with churches going to on line services, as a way to bring the good of going to church alive in a new way, or Zoom trying to create new ways of connecting us as we grieve our visits with family and friends.
When we are grieving, it is not the time to decide who are friends and who are our enemies. It is not the time to start fights and go in to battles with people or organizations that we have had good relations with and trusted before . These choices will result in the destruction of friendships, family and our grief will still be inside of us waiting for us to do deal with it. There is a season for all things, give grief it’s season. The deep heaviness of it will start to end, we won’t be the same, especially if it a person we are grieving. But if we sought it, we will have experienced God’s comfort in a new way, and found strength to move on from there. We likely always have a part of us that longs for the goodness of how life was before. But by avoiding making those choices, we won’t have caused those people who are trying to show us kindness, those making decisions and saying words to comfort and keep us safe to be turned to hatred. Which is what the Ammonities did with David (v6) After we have grieved, then we may be moved to fight for causes or seek justice. But finding justice or rallying for a cause will not replace the grief we need to go through, it only distracts us. We may believe that it will help us but truly that can only come from time and God’s comfort. So if you are grieving NOW IS NOT THE TIME for choosing to go to battle with others. It is a time to seek the HOLY SPIRITS COMFORT.
I am always here for you, I believe in you as does God! I would be honored to help you, if you need someone to pray for you or encouragement, just let me know.
#covid19 #dealingwithgrief #aseasonforeverything #nowisnotthetime #seekcomfort